Comedy Article Headline Pitches
Sobriety Rocks: How I Quit My Cold Turkey Addiction
Inspiring: Teacher Tackles “Guess Your Weight” Carnival Gain to Win Rasta Bananas for Underfunded Classroom
Rough Beginnings: Elliott Smith HitClip Discovered at Local Schoolyard
Alright, I Guess: Pantone’s Color of the Year Is Neon Brown
Won’t Back Down: Guy in Horse Mask Refuses to Take “No Harlem Shake in 2022” for an Answer
Okay, Dave: Alvin and the Chipmunks to Rerecord Master
Artist Promises Self-Titled Album Is “Their Most Personal Project Yet”
I Regret to Inform You That Morrisey Has Partnered with Sweetgreen
Archaeologists Found the Last Fossil, and Yup: It’s Ugly
Things to Say if You See Ryan Seacrest in “Public”
Top 10 Sea Shanties to Waterboard Yourself To
Underwater Win! Silk Sonic Agrees to Do Soundtrack for Shark Tale 2
Zookeeper? Make Those Gorillas Bone, Goddamit!
Does This Place Really Need a Park? Mallgoers React to Pathetic Digital Expansion Rendering That Will Definitely Be Done by Next Spring (like the Poster Says)
